Thursday, August 2, 2012

Citipointe Church in Phnom Penh 2012 # 10



In a meeting with her in Phnom Penh on 28th July Leigh Ramsay stated, repeatedly, that it was Citipointe church’s intention to re-integrate R and SM back into C’s family and community. I pointed out to her many times that in the past four years Citipointe has done nothing whatsoever to facilitate such re-integration; that now was not the time for motherhood statements but for action. C needed to know how and in accordance with what time-frame a re-integration programme was to be implemented. Leigh did not answer this question but kept re-iterating that it was Citipointe church’s desire to see R and SM re-integrated into their family.

Leigh Ramsay
Citipointe church
322 Wecker Rd
Carindale QLD 4152                                                                                    28th  July 2012

Dear Leigh

It was good to meet today and talk about the re-integration of R and SM back into C’s family. Whilst there are some things we disagree on, there is more than enough that we agree on to put a plan into action to facilitate this re-integration along the lines I have mentioned already in my letter of 24th July or in some alternative manner that Citipointe might like to suggest. As for my own position, it has not changed in the past two years. If Citipointe believes that I need to have a formal document from C and Chhork, signed by the Village Chief, for me to act as an advocate on their behalf I will acquire such a document.

My letter to Pastor Halloran of 27th Sept 2010 includes the following:

Hopefully now…we can get down to the business of finding a way out of the dilemma that the church and C are confronted by: Citipointe wishes to retain complete and total control of C’s children until they are 18 years old and C wants her daughters back living with her.

The rigidity of Citipointe’s position is both distressing to C and causes her to adopt her own rigid position. There is, of course, a middle way – the one that Citipointe presented to both C and myself over two years ago: that C be given regular access to her children and, of course, that R and SM have regular access to their mother, grandmother, friends and community. Is Citipointe prepared to abide by the terms of its original agreement with C? If not, why not?

Several times this past two years C has expressed her wish to me that she be able to go and visit her family in the Provinces. And she has invited me to come with her – a not unreasonable proposition given than I have known C most of her life and have known her children all of their lives. C informs me that Citipointe has refused this request of hers to be able to take R and SM with her to visit their family. If C is speaking truthfully, why has Citipointe refused her request?  What legal or moral argument can the church present for alienating C and her children from their family in the Provinces? I am here requesting permission to accompany C, her children (including R and SM), mother and husband to visit her family.

I did not receive any response to this letter and it is absurd that we are, two years later, not just back to where we started from 4 years ago, but further behind since C’s access to her daughters is even more limited. You said, in our meeting today, that the reason why R and SM could not stay with their family for weekend visits was that the place where they live has been deemed to be unsafe because there is gambling, drinking and, when social workers from the Ministry visited, fighting. Whilst I have seen gambling across the way from C’s home, I have never witnessed any fighting.

You have now visited C’s home and met some of her neighbours and know a little of her neighbourhood, her community, first hand. Her home is not a hovel, or a slum (which is how best to describe where C was living in Sept. last year when she had regular access to R and SM) but nor is she living in the lap of luxury. She has electricity, a fan, a TV and is living under circumstances that apply to the bulk of Cambodian families living in Phnom Penh. Her husband, Chhork earns a modest income driving a tuk-tuk that he rents for $5 a day and both C and her mother, V, earn small amounts of money selling books, silk scarves and woven bracelets to tourists. Chhor is a model father who is very protective of his children and V too is a model grandmother, though she does suffer from occasional bouts of mental illness and does like, every now and then, to get drunk on cheap rice wine. When she does this, and it is relatively rare, she drives everyone around her crazy. Nonetheless, having known V for 16 years I cannot fault her for the way in which she takes care of her grandchildren. The same applies for C.

If social workers came to a different conclusion when they visited C’s home they must, I imagine, have written some kind of report to justify their decision not to allow R and SM to stay with their family on weekends. If you would let me know who the relevant person is at the Ministry to speak with to obtain a copy of this report, I will make contact with them once I have C’s written permission to act as an advocate on her behalf. I will certainly be curious to know how much time they spent with C and her family in order to arrive at the conclusion they did. I am also curious to know in accordance with what Cambodian law it is necessary for C and Chhork to be paying their own rent and earning their own income, unaided by myself, before the Ministry will allow R and SM to go home.  This strikes me as a very odd law indeed. Why should Citipointe be allowed, by law, to support R and SM financially and me not be allowed to do so?

The ideal scenario from my point of view is to arrive at an agreement before I leave Phnom Penh and for it to be in writing and signed by all stakeholders. Now is not the time for motherhood statement about how we all care for C’s future and wish for R and SM to be re-integrated back into the family. Now is the time for there to be a concrete plan, in writing.

As you heard from C and her mother, they want R and SM back living with them full time. I think it fair to say that neither Citipointe nor myself think that this is the best way to approach the re-integration of R and SM back into the family. This needs to be done gradually and in accordance with a plan. I have suggested one. If Citipointe has an alternative suggestion, now would be a good time to articulate what it is.

My letter to Pastor Halloran of close to 2 years ago also included the following:

Citipointe may now realize that the church cannot prevent me from completing my film and see the advantages (if only from a public relations point of view) in acknowledging C and her children’s right to maintain regular contact with each other. This story (insofar as Citipointe is concerned) can have a happy ending but the ball is well and truly in Citipointe’s court.


Nothing has changed with the passage of time. The ball is still well and truly in Citipointe’s court.

best wishes

James Ricketson

It is worth noting that C, her husband mother and others in the community have no recollection of any social worker coming to visit C in her home or to check out the community in which she is living.

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